A great and not so sad; sad loss

There has been a great loss in my life. Well, actually not really a great loss, but a big one none the less.

No, my cousin bob didn't die, but tiny did. Who you ask is Tiny, well I am.

I cannot remember who, and I cannot remember the actual joke, but it goes like this.

Your in prison and 300 pound guy named Tiny comes up to you and says…. Something sick, and profane. The point of this is that when I was told that joke I thought to myself, I am bigger then that 300 pound guy and I would kick his ass.

This time last year, as in January 2009 I was 345 pounds. A lot of people said, no way, maybe 250 at the most, by the way that isn't much better. So, I decided to go on a diet. Well, that isn't the only reason, but seemed like a good one.

So, it has been a long and difficult year. I have tried my best to ovoid the fast food, junk food, and most of all sugar. The biggest was giving up sugar pop and other stuff. And about 3 months ago my car window stopped rolling down, and I haven't bothered to even trouble shoot it to find out why. And the reason, the main reason why is, it makes it easier to ovoid fast food drive through because the window doesn't roll down.

Well, as of this week I am down to 295. I have lost 50 pounds. I am 6 foot tall and was 300 pounds. I mean, that is a cliché I believe. And now, after all of this work, it downs on me that I will not get to refer to myself as 6 foot tall and 300 pounds anymore. Seriously, there is a lot of power behind that. I am not the norm; I was bigger than most, well still am. But I can no longer say 300 pounds. I think I was more attached to that then I would have thought.

So, in 2010 I hope to lose at least another 50 pounds. I am not after a target scale number or anything, but after a comfortable size for me. I will let you know when I find it. But the saddest, greatest loss of all of this. It isn't my waist line, it is the fact that I can no longer say I am 300 pounds. That will be missed. I know, I am a little off center, but I rather enjoyed it. I have lost a major part of my identity, and hope to re find myself at some time in the future. Hopefully in a smaller pair of pants, but I will not be picky.

Good luck on all of your goals my friends, and wish me luck on mine.

Brainy Smurf.

First off, Smurf wasn't a word that MS Word recognizes; well I fixed that on my computer. I am not sure what bothers me more, the fact that I spelled it wrong in the first place, or that I added it to my personal dictionary so that the next time I use Smurf in a written document it will automatically be corrected to the proper spelling.

Anyhow, everyone has a conscience. I just happen to have long conversations with mine. The other thing about me, and I think most people are the same, and that is that my inner mind takes on different personas. I can hear my dad telling me not to touch something, or my wife yelling at me to quit messing around. Or even my boss telling asking me "Does that add value".

Well, a few weeks ago I walked into my bedroom and was surprised to find Steph watching "the Smurfs". She then said, I had to put something on for Shea to keep him entertained. I got the feeling that she was telling me this so I wouldn't think less of her, or maybe she was embarrassed that she was caught with Cartoons on. I meanwhile was thinking, Oh Smurf, I need to set my TiVo to record this.

Well, I didn't set the TiVo. In fact when I remembered to, it was too late and the Smurfy Christmas was no longer running.

Well, the reason for this rant is this.

Ever sense that approximately 30 seconds of my life when I was exposed to the Smurfs, I have been saying things like

"Smurfy",

or "Smurf" or I even caught myself saying "Oh Smurf" the other day.

But the worst part is, that my conscious mind has taken to saying, in that Brainy Smurf voice, "I always said this would happen".

The thing is, if Brainy Smurf doesn't get the Smurf out of my head, I think I will Smurf myself. And I do not mean Smurf myself in that way, I mean Smurf myself in a bad way.

Well, Microsoft word now corrects my spelling of Smurf, I am sure I will still hear Brainy Smurf in my head, and life will continue. Oh well.