This is my life…

Well, I have been giving a lot of thought as of late in revisiting my blog, and writing some more in it.  I know that it seems to have gone out of fashion, but I liked keeping one.  The interesting thing is that I like the Sharing some thoughts in a written fashion, more as a journal than a blog, I just like the idea of having it where friends can read it.    

I also played an Idea as to what I would call my general theme would be, or if I should have one.  I didn’t have a theme before, and it made me think, more about what not to write, or write just a little too often.  So a theme would give me something to think about it, and a voice to write in. 

I am bi-polar, and have only recently fond peace with this, of a sort.  This illness has not only completely ruined my life, it has also been a blessing.  But, I have a different view on the world because of it.  Unfortunately this view is often tilted to the dark and depressed side. 

I am also suspected of having MS, but went into remission prior to a formal diagnosis.  Was formally diagnosed with two conditions that are caused by MS, so I say I have MS.

A little OCD, and some pretty bad attention deficit disorder.  All this combined, and I am what you get. 

So, my theme will be nothing more than what I think about subjects, through my eyes.  I think some of them may boarder on very personal, and some will not.. So.. Living life on a roller coaster that never keeps your attention for long, and always seems to keep you not just worried you were going to crash, but sure you are going to die in this said crash, but only when there is nothing left to fall out of the cart.. all the while leaving me overly critical of human behavior, and relationships. 

So, I will just write about the things I see and think.  

Oh, a spider.

Often the best way to get through a tough situation in life, is to laugh at it.  At least I think…

I am writing this simple blog with one hand, I broke the other one.  I am also stoned on Vicodin, as I am recovering from a major back surgery… I will write that funny one later. 

So, anyhow I have discovered that pain pills in high doses can have a adverse effects on dreams.  In all honesty, everything has an adverse effect on my dreams, up to and including life itself.  People that know me know that about me.

So, two nights ago I watched freaky horror movies and didn’t have a single dream about crazy people or zombies, in fact I had nightmares about having my arm cut off by an old teacher that I never actually had as a teacher for touching something on her desk, could be from the pain in that said arm. 

But last night was different.  I watched the scariest of movies, a nature documentary of insects and spiders.  It actually was one that I had seen before, and I was just listening in the background.

So, anyhow I finally took to sleeping, without pain pills.  I lay down on the cot that I am using, covered my head, and feel asleep…

So, I have a dream that I am hanging out in a park sitting on a bench.  Then, in my dream I get a strange look on my face, and then a spider is filling my mouth and trying to crawl out. 

Now the funny part and this is how the dream changed.  A lot of my dreams play more like movies, so keep that in mind.  So my dream literally pauses, and I change from a view point of a person watching me, to the view point of me gaging on a spider trying to crawl out of my mouth unable to move.

Then, in my own voice I hear me say to me, “Do you think that having a dream that there is a spider is in your mouth could be because there is a spider in your mouth in real life”.    

Now, I generally listen to myself in these situations, I mean, I take the time to pause a dream to tell myself something I should listen, right.

So, my eyes pop open, and I realize that my mouth is open, and something is moving in my mouth.  I do not normally sleep with an open mouth, kind of stuffed up that day I guess…

So, I start spitting, slapping at my mouth, and roll up and out of my bed. 

Did I mention I have a broken hand, and am recovering from major back surgery…

So, I am lying on the ground with a level of pain that cannot be adequately expressed in writing, just trust me, I was in pain. 

Now, as my muscles stop convulsing, the pain starts to become a reasonable mind numbing and spine searing level, I start to think about it, and laughed a little.

It wasn’t a spider; it was a string on the sleeping bag that I was sleeping in. 

Physically one of the most painful experiences in recent memory. 

If you cannot laugh at yourself you will be left out well everyone else is laughing, and this one was so funny I had to share it with the world.