I tried....

I have at times loved my job, and at times hated it. Recently, with feeling sick, depression, and plane old fashion stress, I have decided to move on. I approached my wife with this decision, and she supported me. I do not know why this surprised me, but I am grateful that she did.

The long story short, I turned in a letter of resignation to my company today. I was going to be a coward, and email it to them remotely so they couldn’t argue with me. Maybe send it to them after I had gone home for the day, and then ignore the phone….. I have never been very good at being a coward, so I hand delivered it. I have always given resignation as one line letters saying I quit. This started out as the same, and progressed into a two page letter of resignation.

I was positive, in fact completely positive that my boss would accept it, and move on. The biggest problem with my boss is A type personalities. People often make fun of my boss for his personality traits, but the flat out scary thing is we are similar in a few too many ways. I often think when watching house about the relationship of DR. Foreman, and Dr. House. Dr Foreman hates that he is becoming house, but the fact is he is very similar to him in a lot of ways. I often think that I am Dr. Foreman in the relationship with my boss.

I fear becoming him. I fear taking on too many traits that he has. As it is people tell me all the time I am just like him, and between the two of us we are next to impossible to go agents. Contractors, customers, Tenants, and employees all hate us. Without talking to each other most of the time we back each other up. It is the old, Mom said no so I will ask Dad type of thing. I have never had to worry about him not backing me up, or vise versa.

He does some things that are typically agents what I want, or more importantly I feel are not unethical. My biggest problem is that he is the boss, I am the employee, and I should do what he says. I also do not want to go down the road of unethical behavior. I fear that I will start small, and pretty soon I will not have any personal pride left. I suppose it is like cheating on your mate. First it is a flirting, then kissing, then outright affair. It all starts small and innocent.
He however, and I do not like it, has given me two weeks with pay off to think about my decision. He is smart, and he knows me. I wonder if when I come back I will have the ability to quit.

And to top it all off. I ignore most every complement someone gives me. I am cocky, and arrogant, but I generally ignore complements. He gave me a complement today that I cannot ignore. We were talking about something else, and he made a comment that is a complement that has probably got to be the single greatest compliment he could have given me….. We shall see.