It is a weird sensation to suffer from severe depression, and hate sleeping. As anyone who has been depressed would know, people who are depressed tend to want to sleep or lie around and do nothing. That is one of the main signs of depression, but not the only. Well, I myself have suffered from depression most of my life, but have an aversions to sleep. Ironically this makes depression and my general outlook on life worst. Sleep deprivation is not healthy, period. I believe, without medication, I sleep 4 hours a night. Some nights more, and some nights less.
I suffer from anxiety that keeps me from falling asleep, or relaxing enough to fall asleep. And then nightmares that wake me up. The nightmares are part of the reason I have anxiety, but not the only one.
The purpose of the story is not to tell of my nightmares, but to share some of the other things that I find funny about the way I sleep. I sleep at a level that is very close to conscious, so when I am dreaming it is very common for me to speck, act out, and involve the world around me in my dream, or nightmare.
Recently Autumn was staying the night at my house. I was in my recliner and was just falling into a medicated sleep. She hadn’t even fallen asleep yet, when I started making noises, and then I did a back flip out of my recliner onto the ground behind me. Remember that I am a large person, 6 foot tall almost 300 pounds. She also remembers a time a few years ago when I hit her hard enough to knock her to the ground when she was waking me up. I will leave what the dreams were about out of it, just not what you want your kids to remember you for.
And now, to my recent shenanigans, and no I do not have shame, so I am not embarrassed to share these experiences. They are just experiences.
I had gone to bed in my bedroom. And then this…..
I am tired, and I hear the beeping sound. I think to myself, “Darn it, I forgot to turn of the alarm on my cell phone”. But I didn’t care; it only goes off for about 30 seconds. But it was still going off. In the matter of what seemed like several minutes, but in reality was just a couple of seconds, what can almost like the fog parting in the field and you are just starting to see the other side.
It starts out as shapes, and slowly forms into the trees and bushes, but sometimes if you’re not looking you will miss the trees as the fog comes back in. This is an experience I often have as I am waking up. Reality is the other side, and the fog of sleep keeps reality just out of focus, or in some cases completely out of sight. But the sun will come up and burn the fog off, eventually.
Well, I am staring into the fog, thinking about my darned cell phone alarm and why it is still going off. The first thing that started to take focus was the fact that I was cold. I should be warm and cozy in my bed. Second thought was that I was sitting up, and not lying down. These two thoughts are both accruing at about the same second that I remember that my cell phone doesn’t been, but plays a song. You would have thought that was obvious, but it wasn’t.
I haven’t opened my eyes yet; after all I was supposed to be in a medicated sleep that I do not wake up from. And almost at the same second I jumped out of the recliner I realized it was the smoke alarms in my house going off. At that second the sun broke the clouds and burned all the fog of sleep away.
I got about 2 steps as I was thinking what could be on fire, and I had a clear vision of Top Roman in a pan… I knew what had happened.
I got into the kitchen and the fire had burned out. And all that was left was smoldering noodles. Well, it didn’t even look like noodles it was just black soot. There was a few things that were odd. One, I had turned ever light on in the house. I mean every single light. I never have the lights on, and always use just one lamp at night.
I also didn’t even really know that I had Roman Noodle in the house. I would have had to really look for it. I also had to dig a pan out of the cupboard, because I didn’t use the deep pan on the stove, I got the frying pan out of the cupboard. I also mixed the flavor with the water, something I never do.
So, to make this way long story shorter, I had to paint one wall. I scrubbed the cupboards, and dust the house. I also ran an ozone machine in my house for two days.
And, I did everything in my sleep. I can see it now. I suppose I will have to have this as a disclaimer before anyone ever stays the night at my house. Or, I could just chain myself to my bed…
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